No one ever wants to be on the receiving end of romantic betrayal. The emotional pain of discovering that someone you love and trust has been cheating and lying to you can be overwhelming.
When you are the victim of deception and betrayal, it can leave you feeling sadness, confusion, resentment, and angry. Many victims (also referred to as hurt partners) also feel an increase in their anxiety and a decrease in their self-esteem. But infidelity doesn’t just affect our emotional health, it also affects our mental health.
In fact, many partners that discover infidelity experience the same symptoms that are linked to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), becoming totally disoriented and confused as to what has happened to them.
Some of the classic symptoms of PTSD often experienced by those whose partners have cheated on them are:
- Looping intrusive thoughts
- Inability to regulate emotions
- Out of body experiences
- Oscillating between feeling numb and rageful
- Hyper alert (looking for new potential threats)
- Feeling helpless and vulnerable
- Confusion and disorientation
- Problems with memory and cognition
- Lack of trust
If you have been hurt by infidelity, then know that you, like a soldier returning from war, have been psychologically injured and you require care to set you on the path back to you.
Healing from Infidelity
As devastating as it can be to learn that your significant other has betrayed you in such an intimate way, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You can pick up the pieces of your life and find joy and comfort once again.
Here are some ways you can begin to heal after infidelity:
Be Gentle on Yourself
Don’t fall into the “I should have known…” trap. This is not your fault. Now is the time to be on your own side. Critical self judgment will not help you and only reinforce flawed logic that it was somehow on you.
Breathe Deeply
Your emotions will be overwhelming for a little while. You will feel lost, anxious, rage and panicky. When these feelings start to rise, STOP, take a slow deep breath and let it out. Take another one and another one. It is amazing how deep breathing can completely calm us almost instantly. Your breath will become your new best friend. We work to reset the overly alert nervous system.
Seek Counseling
Remember, you’re not just healing from infidelity, you may be healing from the PTSD that the infidelity discovery caused. You need and deserve, some professional guidance to help you cope with the symptoms you are currently experiencing. Whether you decide to try to work through the betrayal and Rebuild the relationship or not, we need help to heal from the emotional wound.
If you would like to explore treatment options, please be in touch with me. I would be happy to help you on your journey to becoming whole and happy once again.
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